broadsideblog

Martha's Skeleton — $149. Such a Deal!

In business on August 21, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Portrait of an articulated skeleton on a bentw...

Image by Powerhouse Museum Collection via Flickr

If you think that 9.4 percent unemployment and foreclosures popping up like mushrooms after the rain can slow for a nanosecond the production and distribution of those all-American porn-machines — catalogs filled with things you really do not need — please take a minute for Grandin Road, (Frontgate is the runner-up), a glossy book touting some arguably useful items like a dog-door or an inflatable bed but mostly filled with unnecessary items that cost a fortune.

Please check out their glitter-covered Martha Stewart-branded skeleton, which comes in green, white or black for $149. It’s 5″ high, 13″ wide and 8″ deep, and weighs five pounds. Irony-free, it even made the cover. Skeleton as mid-recession cover girl. Perfect!

The latest catalog, which arrived this week (I get a lot of catalogs, but I rarely buy), has 47 pages — 47 pages – of Hallowe’en related stuff, guaranteed to terrify the kiddies. There’s a skull and bones set, $34 for both; three fake pumpkins for $49, a fake 18″ vulture for $89; , even polyresin and stone powder fake gravestones for $59 to $79.

I have to confess I’m a little bit tempted by the 20-inch high pre-lit BEWARE sign I could stick into my lawn, if I had one, only $149.  I can think of many places this sign would fit right in: at the door of deadbeat clients, lyin’ sweethearts, maybe your local bank or credit card company charging you big fat fees for every breath you take.

Hell, if I want to scare myself to death, I can just sneak a between-my-fingers peek at my bank balance.

  1. I think the glitter covered Martha skeleton might be classified as a necessity, not a luxury, in these times. But obviously the fake pumpkins we can all live without.

  2. I see the logic…pumpkins you can generally buy easily, skeletons, maybe not so much.

  3. The Martha Stewart Halloween Collection, now that would make a great Saturday Night Live commercial

  4. Apparently the glossy catalogs cannot be recycled. We have lived on our street long enough to see three generations of mailmen lift heavier loads of junk mail. The most prolific seems to be Pottery Barn, Sharper Image, and something called Nod. I buy clothing from a store in Santa Barbara and they send a beautiful catalog monthly plus weekly emails. Of course if you buy online – Zappos, Amazon, etc. then you have another junk mail problem. I’ll look for the skeleton cover, I think my wife subscribed to Simple for a time. Tom Medlicott

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