broadsideblog

Want To Find An Agent? Don't Send Letters Like These!

In business, Media on June 17, 2010 at 10:17 pm
Old book bindings at the Merton College library.

Books. Yes, some day you, too will sell yours, with the right letter...Image via Wikipedia

This list of decidedly losing letters to one annoyed literary agent (and their unsent replies) is delicious, from mediabistro.com’s GalleyCat, the blog that follows the publishing industry:

“Greetings agent. I have written the most important book on earth.”

Will someone, for the love of God, please kill me.

If you really want to find an agent, find a writer who thinks your work is excellent and ask, very nicely, if they’ll share the name of their agent. That’s usually how it’s done. I found mine when I spoke at an event and her assistant suggested I write a memoir. I did.

  1. My contribution:

    Dear Human:

    I have documented my journey across time to this moment. I am interesting, so this manuscript will be too. Let’s make money.

    Sincerely,

    E. Gotist.
    :-D

  2. Dear mr. or mrs. agent, as the case may be;

    i have written an excellent book which is in its formative chrysalis of chapter one for the reading pleasure of Americans and other people which, not to put too fine a point on it, takes up the blogosphere so if you would like to represent me, I am making contact.

    Tersely,

    Doug

  3. Love it! I see you both becoming bestsellers. Right away!

  4. Great post, Caitlin! Loved the hilarious link–and as a former agent myself, I’ve gotten my share of letters like that. I also used to get ones starting, ‘Dear Lisa, May I propose?’ Not so funny, especially the 20th time.

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