Oy. Just my luck. I’ll be flying January 9, twice, domestically. Thanks to the new security rules, we’ll now have no access to the toilets, no standing up and nothing in your lap the entire final hour before landing.
A few challenges here arise:
1) What If I’m asleep and forgot to use the bathroom in time?
2) What if I really need to pee, defecate or throw up? Pregnant women, little kids, those with bladder infections or weak stomachs or the flu are now toast.
3) How will I soothe my frazzled nerves as the plane lands, often when it’s most buffeted by wind and statistically, most likely to suffer mishap? Without a book, Ipod, magazine, stuffed animal — anything to keep my sweaty fingers engaged and my mind distracted — it’s not fun.
4) Does the list of forbidden “personal belongings” include a rosary? No, I’m not kidding. My mother and I once endured a landing in Cuzco, aboard Faucett Air, that had all us so scared we were praying aloud and I bruised the hand of the young woman sitting beside me I gripped it so tightly.
I see a big jump in Prozac ‘scrips starting Monday…