My Long Slow Path (Back) To The Altar

In behavior, domestic life, family, life, love on September 15, 2011 at 3:07 am
The Toronto Islands, as seen from the CN Tower

The Toronto Islands...Image via Wikipedia

Well, kids, it’s almost W-day. The sweetie and I picked up our m-m-m-m-m-m-marriage license yesterday in Toronto, my hometown.

It’s been 19 years since I last walked the aisle, on May 31, 1992. My last words to my maid-of-honor?

“Be my friend if this doesn’t work out.” And two miserable years later, we were done. He’d bailed to marry a woman he worked with.

This time I’m marrying a man I’ve known for 11 years and lived with for ten. We’ve had some crazy fights. We’ve visited France, Mexico and my native Canada many times. My friends know and love him. We share an Episcopal church and minister and a Buddhist lama, a love of French bistros, strong red wine and laughing too loudly on the stuffy/boring commuter train.

We picked up my ring yesterday, buying it from the Toronto jeweler I’ve been visiting since I was a little girl, with a Granny who had the means to indulge her whims in some gob-smacking ways. It’s a lovely link to my past. (Jose’s silver ring we found on Etsy.)

We will have only a very small group, only 21 people, including friends I’ve known since high school and barely beyond. My Dad, in blessedly fine fettle at 82, will walk me down the aisle. No maid of honor or best man or attendants. No garter or bouquet toss or DJ or limo — we’ll arrive at the church, on Toronto’s Centre Island (a huge park, basically, with fab views of the city) in water taxis instead, en masse.

We had a two-hour meeting with the minister here who will be marrying us, a hospital chaplain with five kids and a ponytail.We needed some advice on how to integrate Buddhist details, so he left his office at the hospital and reappeared five minutes later with — who else? — the hospital’s Buddhist chaplain, a nun of Jose’s specific lineage, in her saffron and burgundy robes. I do love my multi-culti country!

Turns out, she told us, I am supposed to give him an arrow (!) and he to offer me a vase.

Too late. We already registered for more conventional things like a coffee grinder and kitchen scale.

Here’s a link to the small, white, Victorian-era church on an island where we’ll tie the knot at 5pm Saturday.

Wish us luck!

  1. CONGRATULATIONS Caitlin and Jose. I am so happy for you and wish you many many years of marital bliss:-)

  2. Oh Caitlin – How wonderful. Wishing you and Jose a lifetime of happiness.

  3. Hey Caitlin, I hope you will share some photos:-)

  4. Best wishes to you. I hope you have a lovely day and a long, exciting, joyful life together.

  5. Wishing you both all the very best life has to offer. Congratulations!

  6. Have a fantastic day and a future that keeps getting better.


  7. Best of luck and many blessings! You sound like a wonderful pair. Congratulations!

  8. What happy news! Sounds like you’ve picked a wonderful place to tie the knot. Best wishes for peace and happiness.

  9. Congratulations, Caitlin! Here’s to a special Saturday and more special memories to come. Salud!

  10. That’s lovely. Congratulations:)

  11. Best of luck! Thanks for your comment on my blog post…so nice to meet a journalist who’s also a Buddhist! Again, best wishes on your special day:)

  12. That’s wonderful! Congratulations, and here’s to a long and happy life together *clinks glass*

    I’ll have to have a glass, or 3, of bubbly in your honour then😉

  13. How wonderful–Best wishes to you both! That little white church is lovely!

    • Thanks to everyone for such kind words…much appreciated!

      We were at the church this afternoon for the rehearsal and it is SO lovely inside at 5-6pm, the time of the service, as the sun pours through the stained glass windows.

      Best part? It’s in public parkland, and about a quarter mile away is a petting zoo. So, as Dad I stood waiting to practice my processional, all I could hear was geese honking and cows mooing! Love it.

  14. LUCK! I’m so happy for you, and I shall be thinking of you today. Love and the best of wishes from me and him over here!. And I want to see photos! xoxo

  15. This sounds like everything is falling into place perfectly. Like it was meant to be.

  16. Congratulations to you both – I hope you have (had?) a wonderful day!

  17. In the airport, but had to say, “Congrats!”

  18. Here’s to the beginning of the next part of your journey together (I don’t have champagne, but I’m raising a really good Margarita to you). I hope it’s as wonderful as your wedding day was.

  19. Thanks for all your lovely messages! It’s an amazing thing to have people we “know” from all over the world checking in.

    The day was truly perfect in every way…I’ll post a blog and some images in the next few days.
    We’re now at a friend’s lakeside home in Ontario, the woodstove blazing.

  20. I wish you LOVE that endures ‘everything’ and luck, of course. Congratulations! I found my way back to the alter in 1998 after 19 years of staying single by choice. I dated my guy for 4 years before re-entering the world of matrimony … what a wild ride! Don’t know which is more thrilling, the up’s or down’s.

  21. Damn I hate that I’m so late to this!! Congrats!!! I’m so happy for you… hope you had a beautiful day.

  22. A belated congratulations to you both! Can’t wait to scroll through the other posts I’ve missed since then– hopefully there are some photos!:)

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