Your medical condition(s) discussed in gory detail — surgeries, relapses, medications and their side effects and/or (lack of) effectiveness. If you’re really, truly a friend, I already know what you’re going through and, of course, have come to visit you or spoken to you on the phone about it all. If not, why burden others? You have no idea what we’re already — privately, tight-lipped — coping with.
Photos of your medical conditions, including blood and bruises. What are you — five? Call 911!
Photos of dogs/cats with pleading, desperate eyes with a caption demanding I run to the shelter holding them rightthissecond to rescue and adopt the animal before it’s killed. These shelters are usually thousands of miles from where I live. How is such emotional manipulation “friendly” behavior?
Political rants. Nothing you say is going to suddenly change my mind. It’s just going to annoy me with your mono-maniacal boring bullshit.
Religious rants. Ditto. I’m delighted that you love Jesus. But don’t tell me this a gazillion times a day. Jesus, I swear, is just as bored with this as I am.
The same post, every day, about something your kid is doing. I get it. You’re proud and excited. I was too, the first time I read it and “liked” it. Move on!
Stupid sayings. You know the kind. Just stop.
More stupid sayings. I mean it!
What you’re making or eating for dinner. By the time I’ve read it, it’s probably long-eaten and digested.
Sexualized images of women. Keep your porn to yourself, please.
Here’s what I do want to see:
Something that will make me laugh
Something I didn’t know about and very likely want to — a gorgeous photo, a great TED talk, a cool music video
How you’re really doing, not some fake, perky, sanitized version of your life
A photo of something beautiful
A link to a great article or blog post I might really enjoy
What drives you nuts about Facebook?
Do you unfriend or block people — and what for?