All the time in the world? Maybe not…
By Caitlin Kelly
You know how this goes.
I’ll do it: tomorrow, next week, next month, next year.
Sometime.
But not right now.
I’m too: busy, tired, broke, otherwise committed, ambivalent, not sure it’s going to work out perfectly.
It might be trying for a dream job.
It might be repairing a broken relationship — or starting a tender new one, romantic or platonic.
It might committing to a course of study.
It might mean selling everything you own and/or disappearing for a while (not abandoning your loved ones.)
Whatever it is, I urge you to get on with it.
It’s the worst cliche, but a cancer diagnosis — even one as incredibly hopeful as mine is — will instantly alter how you perceive time and its brevity and its value.
I’ve cut off useless drama. I’ve turned down invitations. I’m avoiding situations I know will stress me further.
But I’m also making and planting gorgeous new wooden planters for our balcony and accepting assignments for later this summer and planning a trip, possibly to Cornwall, in the late fall.
Two dear friends — one in London, one in California — were widowed in the same week. Both were, sadly, expected but still.
Now another friend’s husband is newly diagnosed.
This time last year I was carefree, solo, sunning myself in a tiny, beautiful Croatian town on the Adriatic, Rovinj. I stayed in, and loved, a boutique hotel made up of two buildings from the 18th and 17th century, walking down smooth cobble-stoned streets.
If this had happened last year, I would have lost a ton of money on prepaid flights, tickets and hotels and had to cancel a trip that was absolute heaven.
This year I’m walking down hospital corridors and consulting with six physicians, submitting to seven presurgical tests and procedures — slightly less amusing!
I am so glad I was able, financially and physically, to make that journey as a birthday gift to myself.
To take it for myself.
To give it to myself without reservation or guilt or remorse for that “wasted” time or mis-spent savings.
Whatever brings you joy, get out there and claim it.
Today!
Broadside 
yes, yes! and i am so sorry for your losses and your struggles. yes to this!
Thanks! It’s nothing compared to many others…
Yes! Carpe the damn diem, for sure. Try to look forward – easy for me to say, I know. I’m thinking of you and sending good wishes. 🙂
Thanks…
Your post reminded me of that quote “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans”… It’s so easy to get distracted and forget to seize the day. So it’s a good message to be reminded of!
The Cornwall trip sounds like a fun idea! I’ve never been there but I’ve heard it’s beautiful, especially the area around the Lizard Peninsula.
Thinking of you and hoping all goes well with your hospital appointments.
Thanks!
I am not much of a commenter more of a reader of what you write. I was in the hospital Christmas acute heart issue urgent cardiac intervention on meds that have side effects. You are an extremely talented writer and your blog posts hit home for me big time. I wish you the best in health and you are in our thoughts and prayers. Day by day, we do things day by day……sometimes that’s all we can do…
Thank you, Rich — and so sorry you had such a frightening experience.
Day by day is difficult but it’s what we’re given. 🙂