Woo Or Pounce?

Cover of "Gone with the Wind"
Cover of Gone with the Wind

We watched “Gone With The Wind” recently — all four glorious hours of it.

I had forgotten Clark Gable, as Rhett Butler, snapping at spoiled little Scarlett O’Hara — “You need to be kissed, and often, by someone who knows how.” How deliciously assertive!

And then he did.


Which raises the larger question — when it comes to kissing, and whatever comes after that, do you prefer to be wooed or pounced upon?

Does it matter if, like me, you’ve been with your partner or spouse for many years? Does first or fourth date behavior need to change to something more subtle — or perhaps more assertive — with the passage of time and the growth of familiarity?

I admit to preferring the pounce, personally. I’m one of these laser-focused people who’s always doing something and hates being interrupted, whether cooking or reading or writing. Sex, romance, smooching — it all takes uninterrupted, undistracted time. And undivided attention.

Which, in college, I and my beaux had a lot of. I remember many long, lovely afternoons devoted to….not attending class!

But as I get older — sigh — I find my libido mugged by any number of determined assailants, from fatigue to a painful arthritic hip to worry about my mom with dementia in a nursing home far away to insecurity about my body to….you name it!

Pouncing, which sort of forces my poor sweetie to be a little leopard-leaping-from-a-tree-esque (decidedly not his nature), relieves me, I confess, of the need to initiate and squelches any ambivalence I might be feeling. On with it, then!

Which do you like best — to be wooed or pounced upon?

What's Up With Those Cialis Ads? Since When Did Painting A Hallway And Doing Laundry Become Erotic Activities?

Image by dcwriterdawn via Flickr

Have you seen the latest Cialis ads?

In one, a guy and a woman are painting a hallway together and — baboom! — time for sex. In another, they’re doing laundry, and the white plastic basket morphs into a romantic table for two.


I know, I know, it’s meant to show how caring and nurturing and domestic a guy can be and that, I guess, is meant to be so hot that his partner wants to rip his clothes off. Or…?

I’ve seen my guy with a paint roller and a laundry basket, although not simultaneously, and much as I enjoy his contributions to the household in this fashion, it’s not going to make me lunge with lust.

Not to mention, as he keeps asking me, what’s the deal with the original ads that show a man and a woman in two separate old-fashioned bathtubs by the shore?

How is that working for anyone? I don’t envy the copywriters or ad agency guys and gals who have to make this stuff seem appealing, but I’ve yet to meet any woman for whom dropping a paint can is quite sufficient foreplay.