A solo trip to Newport, RI, March 2023
By Caitlin Kelly
Having just booked a hotel in Bern, Switzerland (!) for my first-ever visit there, with Jose, I am really excited to be heading back to Europe.
I’ll be back alone in early September in London for a week. Can’t wait!
Between hip pain and COVID and a rough few few years financially, travel was mostly not possible beyond driving trips back to Canada, (where our dollar is worth $1.30 or more.) But this year, finally having been earning well from webinars and coaching — — Europe!
I’ve already got a ballet ticket, two business meetings and three museum shows to see. Plus three good friends to catch up with and this amazing hotel, recommended to me by a stranger on Twitter. It’s in my favorite area, Spitalfields, a time travel back to the 18th century. I’ll be using short crutches but don’t care — the isolation and boredom and loneliness that my chronic hip pain has caused me has taken a big toll on my mental health.
My birthday pie with Canadian pals in Oakland, CA, hence two sets of flags
I haven’t been back since 2017 when I splurged on an amazing six weeks there, most of it alone. I started with Paris for my birthday with Jose, then went solo by train to Berlin for 10 days. I stayed at the Savoy, a wonderful hotel from the 50s, with a deep red lobby, a formal dining room, small backyard patio and a view across Fasanenstrasse to a cinema. The street contained (!) the stock exchange, a great cafe, another great cafe, the Kathe Kollwitz museum and the Grisebach auction house (who sends me their mailings for paintings selling for 300,000 euros…)
London, of course!
My room was small but charming, with a Juliet balcony. I went by train to Budapest, and met my bestie from university and her daughter, visiting from Canada, on to Zagreb, Rovinj, Venice and London. Even though I banged up my lousy right knee cycling in Berlin, and had to wear a leg brace for weeks, it was all fantastic. I met new and old friends, savored some great meals, took plots of photos, swam in the Adriatic.
Rovinj, Croatia — known as Little Venice
(Injury clearly is not enough of an impediment! My mother broke her neck diving into a swimming pool — then went off to India alone wearing a cervical collar.)
I’ve traveled alone many times: to Mexico (on assignment), to Texas and New Orleans and Ohio (book research), to Nova Scotia (to look at a house to buy.) My late mother had enough income to not have to work, but was super frugal, so she lived on the road for years, traveling alone in her 40s throughout Latin America. She taught me two useful tricks — when all goes to hell, cry to the hotel manager (I did, in Istanbul) and lodge a chair beneath the door handle to stop any intruders.
One of the hairiest solo moments — also sort of funny — was driving alone, cell phone dying and out of range anyway, gas running out and nothing for miles in every direction but oil derricks. I was going to meet a Texas woman who had saved her own life by shooting a rabid bobcat…as one does! A truck comes down the empty highway towards me: “Are you the writer from New York?” said a grizzled guy at the wheel, her husband, still a working cowboy in his 80s.
“I am!” I replied gratefully, and followed him home to their house, my destination.
This little stuffed mouse belonged to my late mother, and was a perfect travel companion for me as well.
I did a glorious month alone in California, in June 2022 — enjoying my birthday at a backyard dinner with friends — driving from San Francisco to Los Angeles. I met up with 11 friends along the way, two I stayed with. It was perfect! Few things are more luxurious to me than some time alone in a spectacular location, having a hotel room all to myself.
Don’t I get lonely?
Nope! I always have a book to read, people to chat with, friends to meet, photos to take. I love having every day and evening to myself. Don’t forget — I spent my early life at boarding school (8-13) and summer camp (8-16) sharing a room with up to four girls, dealing with endless rules and schedules. I’d had enough!
I’ve only had a few truly nasty experiences — like trying to rush from Dayton, Ohio to Vancouver, BC, and starting my journey at midnight at the Cleveland bus station where the bus driver took one look at me, slammed the door and drove off. I cried, took a cab to the train station, slept on the floor of the train station and trained to Chicago, then onward.
A lot of women say they’re too scared to travel alone, which I understand but also think is unrealistic.
It’s probably both doable and enjoyable if:
- you stay sober (no drugging or drinking to excess)
- you keep a very close eye on your drinks when at a bar or public place (rohypnol)
- you understand and respect local culture and dress appropriately (even if more modestly than at home)
- you make a sincere effort to speak even some of the local language
- you do your research! Some cities and regions, even countries, are less welcoming to a woman alone
- you don’t feel compelled to wear costly jewelry/clothes that can draw unwanted attention
- you are ready to be situationally aware of who’s near you and how to navigate the environment
Have you traveled alone much?
How did you enjoy it?
Broadside 
I enjoy traveling with friends on occasion, but I also like solo travel. I like being able to set my own schedule and not be beholden to anyone but myself.
That being said, I’ve had some amazing adventures traveling with friends.
Nice to have both. I’ve only traveled (to Jamaica and Venezuela) with one very good friend.
A fun post!
I’ve found that people are more likely to strike up conversations when travelling solo. I’ve had a few memorable conversations with people on trains – one with a musician from South Africa who had just dropped his son at Oxford University for his first year. He was amazed I knew the music of Miriam Makeba and Hugh Masekela.
I think it’s a shame that so many people are glued to their screens these days and, through not looking up or being open, miss those fleeting moments of connection with a stranger.
So true!
I so agree, Grace. I was thinking that the other day as I was strolling through the Tuileries Gardens and looking at all the (young) people on their phones. “They’re looking inwards, not outwards,” I thought, “They’re missing so much.”
Do they notice the color of the magnificent tree leaves? Do they see the river Seine in the distance or the pond, the fountains and the statues? They appear to be more interested in Insta or whatever the heck they’re looking at on their screens.
Even worse at art museums.
I LOVE travelling alone. Doing whatever I want, whenever I want, and answering to nobody. I’ve been travelling on my own since I was a teenager. Mind you, I stick to “safe” countries and cities; I’m not very adventurous when it comes to “risky” destinations. I mean, when I went to Morocco I stayed at a Club Med.
Funnily enough, men and women who travel alone seem to attract people. I’ve had some really good conversations and met some really interesting people who I might not have met had I been with a partner. (I just read Grace’s comment above who says basically the same thing.)
I’m never bored and eating dinner alone in a restaurant is not a problem. Why? Confidence. Sit up at the bar, buy yourself a cocktail and chat with the barman and the people around you. I see many single women sitting alone at a table eating a solitary meal while plugged into their phone or reading a book. That’s a bit of a turn-off. Be open to your surroundings, don’t shut it out. Isn’t that what travel’s all about?
Later this year or next year, I plan to go to Berlin. I’ve never been.
All true! I’ve had great conversations sitting at the bar.
I’ve travelled solo a lot and I love it. I’ve also joined groups when I’ve wanted to do hiking trips, because hiking alone in mountains is not something I’d do. But wandering around towns, cities, museums alone? I love it. In fact, I often prefer it, having no one else’s agenda to consider. I eat when I want, where I want, on my own schedule. I’ve been to Rovinj and in fact it was your old posts about it that make me look it up and book a trip to Istria.
That’s so cool! I found Rovinj thanks to a blog post by Dorothee Lefering who’s in #TRLT, a weekly travel Twitter chat. We met up in person in Berlin in 2017.
It is a dream of mine to travel alone, even a local trip and this blog post has inspired me !
Yay! It is such a joy. I hope you will.